FInally have some time.

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Lots of news!

I have quite a bit to write about.  Some very comical happenings.  So busy right now, will try to get at it tonight and get up to date.

took some time

I took some time off, then went back at it yesterday.  I had a new experience.  A guy was calling me "Mommy" and said he had been a "bad boy".  I had no clue on how to role play that one, and its something I am not really comfortable with, but gave it the ole college try.  Told him I would bend him over a chair and spank his bottom.  He said he wanted Mommy to jerk him off.  ummmmm.... How do I play THAT scenario?  So, I grabbed the dildo and used the dildo. 

I also had my guy that wanted me to talk down to him.  I think hes my favorite because I have to be quick on my feet and think.   He asked if I would be especially mean.  Oooo was I mean.  I go him off QUICK.  He said "WOW, that was awesome".  It went like this:  You fucking pervert, your so sick that I have devised the ultimate torture for you.  I will tie you down and nail your balls to the floor.  I will use a cheese grater on your two inch cock, slowly, so that your screaming for mercy.  You wont deserve mercy, because your a low life piece of shit pervert.  He loved it.  haha.

The guy got my panties and came and gave me a private.  He masturbated on them.  Used them for masturbating and came on them.  All I had to do was watch and tell him what to do. hehe.  The kicker?  another young fairly decent looking guy!   I also had one that wanted me to watch him get hard, then masturbate, and just tell him how much I would like to LICK HIS ASSHOLE while he masturbates.  Mmm ya, would love to be doing that. lol.

Its getting easier and easier to make money.  Faster as well.  Not in free chat near as long before going private.  I am above average in my ratings:)  I got my very first paycheck put on a mastercard and went and blew it all on clothes.  So nice to be able to just shop shop shop.  I could get used to this:)

ewwwwwwwwwww

Tonight was another good night.  LOTS of privates.  Guess that IS the trick, do not do so much in free chat and more take you private.  One thing about me, I get TONS of compliments on how 'personable" I am.  I laugh, make jokes, poke fun at myself etc.

I think I may have my first member I have to ban.  He kept asking me if I would do a dog or a horse and I said NO.  He had taken me private and I made a big mistake.  He was asking if I would do a dog over and over and I thought, well, they are here for a fantasy, so I said "oh, I did back in my younger days".. BIG MISTAKE.  He went on and on and on about wanting to see that and could I? would I? etc etc.  I said NO, for one, animals are PETS and two it is ILLEGAL.  I told him to google it if he wants it so bad and I was sure he could find SOMETHING on the big wide internet, but he wasnt getting it here.  I have seriously learned my lesson that I cant give EVERYONE what they want.  It grossed me out to even SAY what I had said, but stupidly thought that would be the end of it.  BIG mistake.

He kept bugging me in free chat, then would take me private to ask me again, I told him to quit wasting his money, I couldnt do what he wanted nor WOULD I..... He just didnt get the dam hint!  I have more to write, but am just to tired.. will fill in later.

Okay, moral of the story:  Set your boundaries and do not "pretend" something that is against your morals just to try and keep a customer happy.  It backfires and makes you feel all ICKY.  I did have 2 new customers and another repeat who says I am the BEST... even more awesome then (other performer).  awwwww.  Some of them can make you feel so warm and fuzzy inside when they gush over you.

yippy

Last night I made $45 in 52 min.  One customer wanted to see me squirt OVER and OVER and OVER.  We talked a lot as well though.  Right after that looooong private, I called it a night.  That would be GREAT if I could have 1 customer every night for that long.  Just under an hour for $45 I could totally take.

He wanted me to call him Master (with a capital M), and said he would like to fuck me hard for 10 min straight or until I begged him to stop.  He wanted me to put on black stockings and asked if I would pee.  He also asked if I would let him DRINK my pee. hmmm. What else.  Oh, he was not into anal at all so no butt plug required!  He said he would love for me to mail my stockings to him - but I wasnt about to ask for his address after my warning. lol.  He said he would pay me $1000 to fuck me for 10 min and let me film it.  Asked if that turned me on being offered money to fuck and asked me to reply that YES it turned me on.  He told me his record was 9 hours of sex with cmming 18 times in that nine hours and that he is a nympho.  He wanted me to smile a lot - which I naturally do - I smile and crack jokes.  He told me he likes me A LOT.  Awwwwww.  He was on cam as well, on the other side of the world as me.  

I have tonight and tomorrow night for this pay period before my first pay cheque, so must make sure to get at it asap when I get home from work.  This is definitely a job.  Very time consuming between my day job, and all the regular things like housework, dinner, animals to look after etc.  I have to be very careful to not get burned out, but I am VERY excited for that first payday to go shopping:)

I got a warning

Well, I got a warning for asking for personal information from that underwear guy.  Just an email stating its a warning and next time a penalty of $5 will come off my pay. ooooooo.    You are not allowed to ask personal information, give personal information or accept personal information.  That IS a good rule, for your own safety. 

I did get them mailed yesterday though.  I included a note saying I could keep him supplied by "donation" and could also include a cd of me getting them "dirty" in the next ones.  My first payday is on the 25th.  I am very excited, as I plan on  going shopping for clothes.

One thing that was interesting.  I acknowledged a guest that night and he was ecstatic over that.  He said most models do not acknowledge the guests and just talk to the members trying to get privates.  My theory?  if you keep the guests entertained and are polite to them, it may inspire them to buy a membership and take you private.

I took last night off to get caught up on things at home, but went to my profile and noticed a posting on my wall.  The guy that broke my "cam cherry" said he is keeping his fingers crossed waiting for me to log on.  awwww.  Well off to another day of work at my "real" job.  I plan on doing only two hours tonight and having another early night as I am getting so burned out from all the late nights. 

 

dirty panties

Well.  I had something "different" last night.  In free chat, the guy asked if I had any dirty panties.  I said, sure.  Next thing you know, he takes me private.  I am like, what would you like to see?  he said he wanted to see my panties.  I take off the ones I had on, he asked me to lick and smell them.  He asked if I had anything dirtier.  He also said he likes bikini style with flowers.  I said "well! I just so happen to have a pair that I wore today that are nice and dirty.  I got them and he said "OMG!  I want those!"  I told him I would send them to him if he gave me his address.  He did and asked how much I wanted for them.  I said nothing.  I am going to send him them and he is going to come back online when they get there and take me private while he cums on them.  He spent $80 on me last night in private.  WTF?  Of course, I only get 35% of that.... sigh.

He wants me to wear them again today, get them "crusty" then put them in a baggie and mail them. lol.  I figure I will do it, and send him my paypal address and tell him I will keep him supplied with dirty panties by "donation"..  Hey, why not right?  In private, he wanted me to put them on and play with myself OVER the panties, to get them "dirtier".

I also had a guy take me private that LOVES feet.  He wanted to see me masturbate, but wanted to see my feet at all times.  Now that was a work out.  I get the "foot" guys going in free chat by putting baby oil on my feet and rubbing them, or rubbing the dildo on my feet:)   Another guy wanted me to stroke my heels like it was his cock.  My heels?  yup.  They definitely get kinkier the later it gets.

all kinds

Well.  I only went on for a little bit last night and it was VERY interesting.  This is all in free chat:  A guy wanted me to talk to him in an "old lady voice".  I said "I am sorry, I am not a good actress, I have no clue how to do that".. He begged and pleaded and I said no.  So then he asked if I would wear a mask.  I asked what kind of mask.  He said, "put a nylon over your head".. I was like..mkay, whatever and just kinda ignored him till he went away - I was not RUDE to him, I just said I did not have any nylons and then did not encourage him.  To weird for me.

Then I had one of my regular guys that comes into free chat.  He is a sock fanatic.  White socks, a bit dirty is what turns him on. lol.  I had him, and a few foot fetish guys, so I put ONE white sock on, and one barefoot to tease them at the same time.   One guy said he would LOVE to put his cock between my big toe and the next toe:)  Of course I had the "ass" guys in there wanting to see the ass, and OMG, what is with wanting to LICK somebodies ass?  I dont get it.  One guy kept going on how he wanted to SMELL my asshole and bury his tongue in it.  OH MY.  I have been very lucky in that almost ALL privates have been standard just want to see you get off kinds.  Phew.    I think I spend more time screwing with my computer then anything else.  There is lag, camera freezes, computer freezes etc.  It seems that there are problems EVERY TIME I go on, so spend half my time rebooting - and its a NEW computer with an HD camera!  Very frustrating.

I got my first customer in the other site.  I sat on that site for a half hour, watching T.V then he showed up, so quickly turned T.V off and went to work.  I got him off in 3min and made about $5.  Boy do I ever need to learn to drag it out more.  I am so worried about them getting pissed off that they arent seeing THE action that they leave and leave me a bad rating, so I tend to get right to it still.   It will come eventually.  I am STARTING to do a few more things before whipping the clothes off in private.  Wiggle the ass, SLOWLY take bra off, lick nipple, ask some questions... I am still a work in progress.  In training I guess. haha.  I think after a few months at this I will be able to say "I've seen it all!".  There certainly are some odd fetish guys out there, thats for sure.  Old lady voice?  "ahh, hey sonny, wouldya pass me my cane please boy?"  LOL. there ARE woman on that site in their 60's and 70's so I dont know why he just didnt go to one of them.

so, the new site:(

I have gone twice on the new site.  The first time, I lasted 20 min.  BORING as hell.  I did not get anybody in 20 min, and I just cant sit there and do nothing, so went back to my usual site.  Then last night, I tried new site again, lasted 12 min!  haha.  I see that site as VERY hard to make money at.  I think once you at least GOT some customers then it would take off, but the trick is getting them.  I watched it a bit last night, and noticed there were 10 girls online, and only one was in a chat.  I dont think it has huge traffic.

Back at my usual place, I am beginning to gather some regulars.  All my teasing and getting them off in free chat is starting to pay off.  One of them who comes in regular finally couldnt stand it anymore and had to take me private:)  I had another foot fetish guy to, but I gave him to much of the "feet" in free too. hehe.  Now, the funny thing is, I have only had to use the "plug" ONCE! phew.  I thought they would want to see that, and yet, they are just into the squirting thing so far.  Nothing to out of the ordinary to report on.  So no interesting humurous stories for this entry.

Officially signed up!

I am officially signed up for the other site.  Just have to finish my profile.  I cant start until "the curse" ends, which SHOULD be by tomorrow night.  Dying to get back at it.  I guess I kinda like it huh?  I could almost see myself doing it eight hours a day.  You never know, may have to give up my day job and take up full time "porn".  Will have updates as soon as I can get back at it.  Going to upload my pics and finish my profile on the new site tonight.

Week off

I have to take a week off, due to the wonderful mother freaking nature.  Just when I was getting into the swing of things.  Dam.  My guy that likes to be humiliated was back:)  I had fun with that.  Is that bad? Of course, when he was finished I explained I didnt mean ANYTHING I had said. lol.  Last night, I had somebody calling me mistress and asked if I was a dom.  I said I wasnt, but could give it a try, and proceeded to tell him to put his nipple clamps on and tug on them till I told him to stop. lol.  Had fun with that one as well.  I FOUND A SITE that has no free chat.  You get paid for everything.  I have signed up and will have my account on Monday.  It's in the UK, and their dollar is way better then mine, and from what I understand, the "free chat" part, isnt free, you get paid by the min for just that.  Then, if they want to take you private, the price goes up.  It seems as though the chat part is the same - teasing, no nudity etc, but you still get paid for it.  LOVE that idea.  Its my most favorite part of this whole thing.  Guess I am a tease at heart...

Will post the link to the other site once I have tried it out and give a first hand review.

hmmmm

When you sign into livejasmin it shows the top performers income in the last two weeks.  Top on this period has made almost $7000 in TWO WEEKS.  HOW?  I am thinking that in order to make that kind of money at this you would have to be on it 10-12 hours a day.  I can only devote 2 hours a night, and with summer coming it will be a lot less.  Of course, I will be happy to supplement my income by a min of $200 every two weeks as it seems that I am exactly short $400 a month.  I upped my price last night to 2.49 a min.  I feel I am getting better and better at this.  I certainly attract a LOT of members and guests in my room during the free chat.  Its hard to keep up with the conversations.  AGAIN I had a couple of them tell me they were cumming - in my free chat.  NOT good.  They need to take me private!

I did four "shows" last night, and one of them was the same member twice.  He was so flattered that I remembered his name and age from a week ago when he first took me private. He asked if I had any costumes such as school girl or maid.  I guess that will be my next expense.  My computer is fixed and I will be picking it up Thursday, will have to use the old clunker for tonight. 

I quite enjoy the "teasing" that goes on in free chat.  I am starting to have some regular "followers" from the members.  When I have watched some of the other girls, they just sit there, looking bored as hell.  I talk A LOT, show my ass, play with the boobs over the top, stand up, show a cameltoe, lick my finger, and clean my toys in front of them.  I try not to just sit there and I try to aknowledge everybody that types to me - which can be difficult when you have a whole bunch typing totally different things.  I have one member that comes on and says HEY SLUT.  I talk nice to him and keep him engaged, next thing you know, hes all sweet. lol.  I think he tries to get a rise out of me, but instead, I am very sweet to him and tell him I remember him and start a conversation with him, it totally diffuses the attitude he comes in with.

Well, well, well.

So, I had a good few shows on Friday and Saturday.  Came across another foot fetish guy that wanted to see my feet and suck on my toes.  The REAL odd one was this:  He popped into free chat and his name was something like biceplvr.  So he asked me to flex my arm.  I was like OMG, seriously?  I didnt say that, but I flexed and was laughing saying how I do NOT have a muscle, but he still said "mmmmmm... flex both arms please".. So I did, and I really really couldnt help but laugh, I felt so ridiculous.  Then, one that took me private wanted me to pretend I was getting raped by him.  That was very difficult.  I was "fake" and awkward as its not something I enjoyed at all and I am sure he knew it.  I think I will refuse something like that in the future.

Last night, I had about 15 members in my room and again, over 40 guests, three members were making noises about going private and the one that took me got quite the show.  First squirt, right at the camera all over my keyboard.  I grabbed a piece of clothing to throw over the keyboard.  Squirted again ON the keyboard, he kept going WOW! omg, your amazing.. WOW... I said "i hope I dont wreck my keyboard!"
and he said "i hope not either!"

I squirted again and the piece of clothing was just not sufficient for covering the keyboard and all of a sudden the screen went white.  I said "omg! I hope you can hear me.  I think I fried the computer, I am soooo sorry!".  Sure enough, the computer is fried.  Cannot even turn it back on.  I ran it to the computer guy last night and hopefully it can be fixed. (crossing fingers).  I went on the other old clunker in the house to make sure I didnt get a bad rating  and I got FIVE stars from him!!! yippy.

OH! last night I came up with a BRILLIANT idea.  Since about 95% of them want anal, I decided I could TRY maybe a teeny tiny tiny, did I say TINY butt plug.  So, I promoted it last night.  When I had the most members in my room, I told them to watch my wall in a couple of weeks, as I am searching for a tiny plug.  I told them when I find one, I will post on my wall and the very first one to take me private will get to see me burst the anal cherry.  (yuck.)  I told them how scared I was but that I was willing to try it if I could find one small enough.  Will do that again every night till I find one, to keep them coming back to check if I got it yet:)

Foot fetish

Last night I had my first encounter with somebody that has a foot fetish.   It was in free chat I had my leg up and was stroking my leg and he asked me to take my shoe off.  I took the shoe off and pointed my foot at the cam, he was so excited.  So, I decided to have a bit of fun with it and started stroking my toes.  lol. He said how hard he was and how much he wanted to to suck and fuck my feet!.  So I took off the stockings and fiddled with my toes. 

I once again, did TO MUCH in free chat.  Its just so hard to NOT do that.  I feel awkward just sitting in front of the camera without doing something.  I do have an idea for something different though!  I am going to bring out the hoola hoop and do that, then I get some excersize at the same time as teasing:)

One show last night

I decided to do at least one show last night.  I have TWO "stalkers" now. lol.  They both say they look for me when I am on, they both have said they want to marry me etc etc.  To funny.  They are very sweet though and although they are not paying members, I give them lots of attention, after all, you never know when one of those guests will decide to become a member just to see you.  I need to plan a shopping trip soon for more camisoles and such as they are in short supply.  I have enough g strings, but need more bras and lacey things. 

In private shows, I talk dirty to them and ask them things like "do you want to fuck me? etc.  It keeps them there a bit longer as they have to type with one hand to answer. lol.  I figure that the second it takes them to type, it breaks the "concentration" a bit.  STILL have not figured out how to prolong getting to the actual ACT, and I figure I will try and work on that tonight.  I have this fear of getting a bad rating, so I tend to get right to it - dont want to keep them waiting, after all, they ARE spending money on me and I want them to feel it was worth it.  Since its Friday I will be staying up rather late tonight to get as much in as I can, then will probably take the weekend off to do home stuff.

Standard "lines" in free chat

Just your standard run of the mill things you can expect to hear in free chat:

If I tip you, will you take your bra off?
Lets make a deal and then I will take you pvt.
Show me your nipples.
Nice ass.
Do you do anal?
Can I see your pussy?
Just let your tits fall out, it wont be against the rules.
Pull your panty's aside just quick. Nobody will know.
Do you do anal?
Other models take bra off for tips!
Do you fist?
How fast can you squirt?
Do you do anal?
How much can you squirt?
Do you REALLY squirt?
I will give you $100 to do anal
Your so sexy.
Love your voice. 
Do you have audio in pvt? (duh, I have audio in free chat, why wouldnt I?)
Do you do anal?
Stand up and turn around sweety
Would love to lick that pussy
Do you do anal? 

Can you see a pattern here? haha.  I think I get asked the anal question OVER and OVER by almost everyone who comes in the room. 

You are SO beautiful
How old are you?
OMG, you look like your in your 20's.. (then I usually say, aww, your sweet talking me!)
What position is your favorite?
Are you married?
where you from BB? (bb in there means baby)
Hi bb, hru? (hi baby, how are you)
Do you have toys?
Show us your toys.
Can I buy your panties?
Do you do dp? (double penetration)
Do you like pain?
Do you do kink?  (at which point I ask them to elaborate)
I want to fuck you so bad....
Awesome milf, your hot! (mother i'd like to fuck)
Can you be my mommy?
Do you have heels?
Do you have nylons?
Are you shaved? (which if they read my profile, they would KNOW I am.)

So, there ya go.. Thats about the drift of it.

Work in progress

Last night I went on earlier then usual.  My time so far has been 2 hours a night.  I have averaged about $35 an hour - that is for the privates, because the time in free chat you do not get paid for - although you do get "tips" from members in free chat and I had one tipping me last night A LOT. I had two shows again.  I still need to tone it down in free chat.  Again I had over 40 guests in my room, 10 members.  Its a fine line on how much to 'give' in free chat.  When  a potential customer starts asking a lot of questions you must be careful.  Your answers could be enough to get them off!  I have found that generally, it does seem to be the 'quiet" ones that will take you private.  The two that took me last night didnt even say a word to me in free chat, just watched for a bit, then all of a sudden there ya are - in private.  I had at least 5 conversations going at once and it was a bit difficult.  I have had TWO people aske me this week about beastiality. YUCK!  I very politely told them that I would never violate my animals and that is just not something even up for discussion.  They dropped it right away, or I would have kicked them out.  I still get a lot of requests for anal, and I tell them No, that part of me is a virgin and I intend to keep it that way.

I still need to work on SLOWING down the private time too.  I do tend to get right at it.   Livejasmin pays you only 35%, a pretty low per centage.  I plan on moving to a higher paying one (there is one at 60% that i found) once I am better at this.  Livejasmin is a great site for "training" on.  Its quite user friendly. 

Apparently, quite a few models will have TWO chat boxes up.  I have no clue how to manage that and have asked Luke Madison to address it in his blog.  If I sign up on another site, that would be great to know how to juggle the two at the same time.  

The two privates last night were the standard ones where they just wanted to see me squirt.  I like those.  No funky requests.  Seems to be the majority.  I may end up taking tonight off.  I pulled something in my back (hehe).  The downfall of being a "mature" cam model.  Not as limber as I used to be. 

slow night

Before I go into the details of the night tonight, I want to address some questions that will most likely come up.  For example: WHY would you do this?  Not an easy answer. First off, I want to say, I am a SUPER SHY person.  I had huge body image issues for years.  Self confidance? nada.  Sex? hated it for the most part.  Never been much of a sexual person, due to the body image/self confidance.  Then, last summer, something happened.  Its like a switch went off, or hormones went out of wack, something happened anyway because all of a sudden I WANTED sex.  I excersized and felt good about my body - I am not saying I think I have a hot body by anymeans, its still a work in progress, but I feel good, I feel sexual.  I started wearing more revealing clothes rather then baggy stuff, started taking care of myself.  Then, I noticed men starting to look at me - I liked it.  I didnt WANT to hide my body. 

As an aside, I was raped as a 13 year old - which probably caused all the lovely problems with how I felt about sex.  I felt it was dirty, perverted etc.  Maybe this is another 'effect' of it? I dont think so though.  I feel the best I have ever felt about myself.  So, I decided I wanted to make more money, but how?  Nothing for extra jobs around my area.  I wanted something from home.  hmmm.. what sells? SEX of course.  I googled and found info about cam modelling (at my other halfs suggestion!).  It intrigued me. I wondered if I could really do it.  I did not think I could, but thought I would give it a go anyway and if I couldnt do it, well so be it.

So, here I am.  A person who hated sex, thought porn was perverted - and am now somewhat of a porn star myself:)  I have learned to use the word cock and pussy without wanting to shrink in shame.  Some may say that it's not right that I have gained MORE confidance from doing this, but you know what? I am the MOST comfortable I have ever been with my sexuality, I am enjoying it to the hilt.  I am not ashamed about it either.  OF COURSE I would not want people in my area to know, but if they found out, so be it.  They are welcome to think what they want of me.  I wish I had felt this comfortable when I was in my 20's though.  To bad I didnt wake up until my 40's.   I feel doing this is a safe way to have "safe sex" and get little monetary reward for it.  You could say I am whoring myself out, but, thats fine, I am enjoying it.  If I start to feel uncomfortable I will simply stop.  I can look people in the eye now rather then at the ground.  After all, when you've exposed your whole intimate parts to strangers, whats looking somebody in they eye?

Now onto tonights story;
I was only on for 2 hours and it was HARD.. I mean hard as in getting any privates.  I only got two.  Had my regular guy come to tell me I am his angel and how much he thinks I am a goddess. awwww.  He told me he is 22 and a techie.  I enjoy the chat though.  I may not be making money at it, but I like to talk. A lot.  I spent about 40 min just chatting with this one guy who was saying how he wished he could get his wife to shave.  I suggested a few things on how he can get her to come around.  Second night in a row where I lost privates due to my cam quality and being blurred when I moved.  Must buy new cam!  Nothing really interesting to tell about the two privates, they just wanted to see a squirt and to be talked dirty to, and one was a repeat from last night.  Yippy!.  One guy in chat was...ummmm. different.  He kept referencing his woman, and that she was 50 and he 28 and that she was his mum and he her son and she was stroking him.  Okay.   Of course, the usual ones trying to get a free peek at tits or under the panties.  AGAINST THE RULES.  I did my best to not give to much, its hard. Simply answering sexual questions is enough to get some of them off, so its really touch and go on what you show and what you say.  I am still learning.  Thats about it.

Oh my

Edited to add more at bottom of post:
WELL, another interesting night.  I have learned a few more things but before I go into that I will start with my two "shows".   First one, pretty standard, just wanted to see me squirt, talk dirty to him about how much i want to fuck him, again, another young un.  He said he was going to add me to his favorites and gave me a tip.  I had a lot of stupid technical problems with my cam due to low bandwith again, and that was AFTER the internet guy upped the bandwith.  Now, the second one is what I really want to talk about.

In free chat, a guy asked if I would talk down to him.  I said I had never done that, could he give me an example of what he means.  He said "tell me I am a piece of shit".  I was like, well, I could give it a try if you would like YOU PIECE OF SHIT.  haha.  He was like, OH YES, like that.  I said, well, its difficult for me to do that as I am a NICE person and do not like to hurt people.  Well, he took me private.  I put on the performance of a lifetime I think.  He only wanted me to take my bra off and talk down to him really bad.  So, here is how it went down: (short version)

Me: "hey you piece of shit are you looking at my tits?  your not worth looking at them, you lowlife piece of shit"
Him: YES, tell me im a pervert and a faggot
Me:  Hey you lowlife faggot, you with your small dick, dont look at me.  You do not deserve to look at me you pervert. 
Him:  Im black, be racist to me.
Me. OH but I cant I am so not a racist... But, I've been wtih black guys and what they say is true, they have 10 inch cocks so what the fuck happened to you with your two inch pathetic excuse for a cock?  I bet you hide behind cars and watch girls walk by and take that pathetic little weener out and stroke it, while they look down on you as the lowlife pervert you are.
Him: Tell me I should die
Me: Why are you even walking this earth among us? You should die
him: tell me I will die of aids
Me. you will probably die of aids being the little small cocked pervert faggot you are.
Him: YES.... then he thanked me and said it was awesome.....

OH MY GOD.  That was very difficult.  I am NOT mean I tell ya. 

Now, what I have learned tonight.  I give to much of a "show" in the free chat.  I got two men/guys off in free chat so there was no need to take me private.  I have to not talk so dirty and quit teasing so much and showing so much as it doesnt get them to take me private.  Tomorrow I will try a new tactic.  I had 35 guests in my room and 7 members.. I really gotta work on not giving to much away.  lol.

My very first customer came in to say hi last night, and I have my own personal "stalker" that said he was looking for me last night and WHERE WERE YOU, I cant cum for anyone else, only for you.  awwww.  I am flattered, but take me private you bugger, dont cum just watching me and chatting with me in free chat!  I didnt say that of course, but I was thinking it!  When I first "met" him he told me he was going to come talk to me DAILY and hes mad that he "met" me because I made him hard... okay?  I gave him a lot of attention, but he still hasnt taken me private, so I am trying to give him less and less - which is hard for me to do being how I am.  The plan for tonight:  Tease but NOT SO MUCH. 

Late Night

Sheesh I had a late night last night.  I guess since my promotional period is over, they try and get as much as they can for free now.  I spent A LOT of time chatting last night.  Dont get me wrong, that is a lot of fun as well, but you dont make anything in the free chat, my time is stretched thin with the real job, horses, house etc.  I ended up being up until two in the morning.  I did quite a few shows.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  I had a repeat, the one that just likes me to watch him masturbate.

The one that was different was a young guy, 26 and he enjoyed chatting as well in private.  He told me hes a 26 year old virgin.  Awwww.  He seemed quite shy and just laid on his stomach and watched.  I told him he was cute, which he really liked.  I  wish my dam internet guy would come and increase my bandwith so I can get High Definetion and two way audio so I will be featured further up on the page.  

Late last night I had over 30 guests in my room and about 10 members talking to me.  oooo it was fun, I would lay back on the bed, play a bit UNDER the underwear etc.  I love it.  I may join a site that pays you to chat.  I found it from Luke Madisons blog (I have a link posted to his blog) and I think that would be a blast.  Getting paid to chat, tease and flirt.                                                      

Promotional period over!

Well, my promotional period is over, so my rate is up to 1.99 a min.  The bad part is that now I wont be on the first page:(  Tonight was very interesting.  I waited until later to go on.  Its a Friday, so I imagine the young uns are out partying.  I had an older set tonight.  I had to chat a lot to get them to go private. 

In chat, I experienced the following:  Somebody asking me if I do kink.  I asked him to expand on that and to let me know exactly what he meant.  He didnt.  Another asked me if I would pee.  I said I cannot pee on demand.  Few min later he asked if I had to pee yet.  haha.  I was asked to stand up and turn around, show my tits and whether I did anal or DP. (double penetration).

Privates:  One wanted me to watch him jerk off.  I said I would love to.  He asked me to just talk to him while he jerked off.  I wasn't clear on what he wanted, dirty talk or just talk? I asked, but he was jerking off, so I just prattled on with a bit of dirty talk.  Another wanted me to squirt, which I did twice (getting GOOD at that!) and then he asked to see my tits, and asked if he could suck my feet.  I said sure, and tried to get my foot in view.  Dam I need a better cam though.   He asked if I could fist myself and I said no, its to tight, so he asked for 3 fingers.  Another wanted me to squirt and to give him the finger.  WTF?  I was like, "you want me to GIVE you the finger? like this?" and I stuck the middle finger up. He was like..mmmm yea, that's it baby.  Okay.  That was different.  So yea, it was definitely different tonight.  I like my young bucks:)

Tomorrow I will have to put a towel down on my keyboard as I managed to squirt on it twice.  I lost count of how many times I did it.  I HAVE to use a certain toy in order for that to happen though.  Oh man am I ever tired.  I hope to go on tomorrow during the day if I can, to see what kind of crowd is there during the day.  I now know that around 8-10 during the week seems to be a very good time.  Late Friday night is different.  Well, off to bed.  Will blog about my adventures tomorrow if I have any.

WOW

OMG!  I had so much fun tonight:)  My first guy was amazing.  He wanted to see me masturbate and I was vocal, and talked dirty and he came and was instantly hard again.  I squirted tons for him and he came again. Then another young guy came in and it was a wonderful repeat.  Then, an older tattooed guy came in, but our connection was not so good, (meaning both Internet and sexually) and his cam seemed to have froze up, but my second guy came back for more.

My first guy gave me a Badge.... He gave me "best show ever!" badge.  awwwwwwwwwwww.  BUT, my star rating went down from 5 to 3.  ( Two men have voted.  One the first night, and one tonight, but it does not show you who did.  I have a feeling it was the older tattooed guy).  Overall, its was an amazing night.  I am bummed about how I went from a 5 star to a 3 star but what can ya do?

Oh yea I was vocal as hell.. Mmmm. oh yea, Stroke that cock, I want you to fuck me, your so hard, I want to lick and suck you.. yes yes, im cumming babe.. you get the drift.  I am VERY pleased that so far my experience has been with young men that just want to watch you masturbate for them.  No kinky stuff requested.  Phew. 

I make sure to post on my wall on my profile every day.  When a customer posts, I reply.  For e.g.  The first guy posted that it was so much fun and an awesome show.  I replied:  You were so hot and I had a blast, and it wasn't a Show babe, it was real. - then I got my badge.  The only one I felt I had to 'act" with was the older guy and the only reason was that I hadn't recovered from the previous one when he joined the room.  Its a juggling act.

One thing for anyone reading this that is trying to glean info before joining  - a private show is NOT private, you can get up to 5 more members in the room.  I haven't figured out how to deal with that yet.  I acknowledge them when they come in the room but when your in the middle of masturbating with your first client you cant very well get up and click on the other one and leave the first guy hanging right?  so, I have not learned how to deal with that yet.  I will be sure to post on here when I learn how to handle that situation.  I have sent an email to the support asking, so we shall see.

The Plan

I have a plan for my second time out tonight.  I am going to attempt to flirt in private a lot more, and SLOWLY let them see what they want, to keep them there longer.  No need to get them off in three seconds, thats not going to make me any money now is it?  I really need to work on being vocal.  I know men like to hear Oh (insert name) I want your cock in me so bad, oh your so hard, etc etc.  I KNOW what i need to do, its just putting it into practice.  If I moan and talk dirty, I do not want to sound "forced" or like its awkward, as I feel its better to say nothing at all then to sound fake.  MUST get over the nerves.  After all, its not like I will ever meet these people in real life.  I IS fun, and I think I could really enjoy this if I get over the nerves part. 

I've looked high and low for some forum or blog that helps with what to expect in private and cannot find anything.  That is why I will document everything the best I can, to help out any future woman/men that want to give this a try.  I added a link to a great forum/free e book that helps with quite a few hints and tips on how to present yourself, your environment etc.  Its in the side bar, as well as the site I work for.  I will blog about my second trip out tomorrow and let ya'll know how it goes!

Also, want to mention that I have a friend in the sex toy business. I have added her link as well, and she also has worked in the live cam business and has given me tips and hints which I will post here soon.

that was umm.. different.

Well I did it.  I did my first "performance"  I signed on and WHAM, tons of people chatting.  Was told I a beautiful, have a sexy voice and asked if I had heels.  I said yes, I had heels and showed them, and he asked if I had sandals with heels, which I dont.  I was barely on there and was taken for a private show. 

I was nervous as hell.  The cam on his side came on and I was like OMG.  He was young and hot.  WTF?  I am 41, why is a young (late 20's, early 30's) good looking guy wanting to see ME?  So, I did a slow strip tease and asked to see his cock.  He put the camera down and OMG.  It was huge.  Well, he just wanted to see me masturbate, which is fine, I did.  It was a bit awkward because I have to keep looking to see if he was typing any requests. 

Apparently, you can have up to 6 people in your private show.  I did not realize this until later.  So, I inadvertently ignored the others that came into my room because I didnt realize they were there.  So, after the big cocked guy I had another that asked if I had ever been fisted.  I said no, but I could try!  Well, I gave it my all I tell ya.  I tried and tried.  #1.  It was just to dam tight and #2. I am NOT THAT flexible.  He was happy though, gave me a 5 star rating.  So I guess I got an A for effort! haha.  Next up, another young hot, big cocked one who just wanted to see me squirt.  He got a show, I managed to provide him with 5 or 6 live squirts in under 4 min:)

I have a special toy that hits that g-spot right where it needs to be, works like a charm.  I wasn't online long at all, I had played myself out in an extremely short amount of time.  I need to learn that when we go private, to prolong it, by teasing, flirting etc - not to just get right down to it and show them the goods right away!.  During the promotional period with this site you only charge .98 per min, and you get 35 per cent.  Needless to say, I certainly didn't make much last night.  Still learning the ropes though, so I consider this a training period.  It was fun.

I am a somewhat shy person, and am far from a seductress.  So, once in private, I am like "now what?".  So I ask them to tell me what they want me to do.  I think its going to take me awhile to learn how to prolong my private time and what to say/do.  I may not go on tonight (need to recover).  There are woman on there that are on for 10+ hours a day! How the hell do they do that?  I guess its like starting any new job, there is a learning process.  I just hope I keep the customers happy with my bumbling, awkward self until I learn.  One thing about me, the men get a REAL person when they see me, not a "performance".  There is no acting with me, what you see is what you get.

One more night

So, tomorrow night will be my debut.  To say I am nervous is a MAJOR understatement.  I am a wreck. I spent the weekend watching cams and got over 200 pictures taken of me.  I even went outside in the freezing cold to get some outdoor shots.  Quickly deleted the ones that made me look "fat" and kept the ones that (to my eye at least) were somewhat sexy.

What I learned over the weekend watching was that I am going to really have to learn to be comfortable with saying the words, cunt, pussy, cock, suck etc.  I also will have to do my best to try not to let my self consciousness come through, must seem confidant!  I wrote my profile up saying I was shy and would like to have direction on how to please them etc etc.  Oh, and of course, how much I would love to see them cum cam2cam.  I also put NO ANAL, but I don't think that is going to stop them from asking, begging, pleading to just "stick it up that ass".  I am prepared also to most likely be asked to piss.  I have mentally prepared myself for a bunch of odd requests so that I do not register shock or disgust on my face.  Have to keep the customers happy!  Even if its not something I will do, I have to be apologetic, so as not to get them angry and leave me a bad rating.

I hopefully will have POSITIVE if somewhat humorous stories to share on Wednesday morning.